I never really put much thought into how a body reacts to a DJ shift. Granted, when I started out in radio, I wasn't too interested in that aspect so naturally I paid it no mind. But as I branched out – and finally took the plunge, as it were – I realized that it took some stamina.
In my undergraduate days, all music shifts (save the Saturday morning four-hour folk show) were three hours shifts; when I went off to graduate school, that station's shifts were just two hours. I still think three hours is the best way to go. This way the student has the chance to warm up to the craft: if the first hour is a little stale, he or she still has two hours to pull off something listenable. If the shift is two hours then by the time things start falling into place, the DJ is getting ready to leave. I remember making the comment in graduate school that two hours seemed short. I wasn't expecting, however, most of those students to counter with three hours sounding too long.
Well, to be honest with them, it could be long, but I think it mattered which music format you were stuck with. Shifts that allowed the DJ to interact – such as rock, jazz, folk, or hip-hop – tended to move faster because of shorter songs, more breaks in programming, and the feeling everything is clipping along at a quick pace. A classical shift might end up with two different but similar sounding dirge-like pieces making up the entire three hours – and if classical wasn’t your bag then you were stuck like Chuck.
There was another definition of "being stuck" that was worse, though. That was being stuck at the station because the DJ that was supposed to come in after you didn't show up. That was one of the worst feelings to have, watching the clock dip into that fourth hour. Did the guy who was supposed to relieve you just vanish off the face of the earth? Usually not, but there was a good chance you would have to at least start the next three hours of music, in hopes he or she was just running late. Often that wasn't a problem but it could be if you had to jump formats...say, from three hours of classic rock to the first of three hours of R&B.
I can speak from experience on that. My regular classic rock shift was noon to 3 pm, but I had made a deal that week to cover for the DJ who went on 3-6 pm. After six hours in the booth I was ready to go...and then 5:45 rolls by and no one’s there to replace me. Now, when this happened to other people it was always fun to hear the exasperated or exhausted voices mouth off about picking up the slack for so-and-so or that whosis was tardy. Moving to the R&B playlist, I kicked off the next hour in hopes someone would show up. Telephone calls were of little help, as no one answered the phone. With a sigh that almost sounded like a yawn, I opened the microphone at my first break and welcomed the listeners with, “Greetings and Hallucinations, everyone....” Based on that alone, the faculty advisor called and said to hold tight, he’d come pinch hit for a bit and let me get out of there.
One of the first songs I played that night was Ginuwine’s Pony (and if you know anything about the song, the next thing you don’t want to hear is “Greetings and Hallucinations”). With a weary and wandering mind, and somewhat annoyed to be put in this position, I made a mental note that cemented that song, my situation, and my disdain for the delayed DJ in my head: that DJ, whoever he was and wherever he had disappeared to, was a genuine horse’s ass.
No offense to Mr. Lumpkin, of course. His Back II Da Basics was released in 2005, followed by a greatest hits album the following year. A new album is reportedly in the works.
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Pony
(S. Garrett/Elgin Lumpkin/Tim Mosley)
Ginuwine
From the album Ginuwine... The Bachelor
1996
Im just a bachelor
Im looking for a partner
Someone who knows how to ride
Without even falling off
Gotta be compatible takes me to my limits
Girl when I break you off
I promise that you wont want to get off
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
Sitting here flossing
Peepin your steelo
Just once if I have the chance
The things I will do to you
You and your body
Every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine
Juices flowing down your thigh
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If were gonna get nasty baby
First well show and tell
Till I reach your pony tail, oh
Lurk all over and through you baby
Until we reach the stream
Youll be on my jockey team, oh
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it
If youre horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it