The content within the daily sign-on announcement (see Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125) did not change much and neither did the recorded version played every morning, though memorable modifications were altering the station slogan and updating the area code of the phone number. There was, however, one version created by undergrad station superstar, Jim "The Sparkler" Drake. Early on, Jim was doing one of the five-minute sports shifts; he would later go to do color commentary during basketball season, where he suddenly started self-applying the nickname, "sparkler." The guy meant well but wasn't exactly a "sparkler" in sense of personality: sort of a spotty, mild-mannered guy with an off-pitch voice and whose attempts at facial hair were outdone by Chia pets.
Jim was enrolled in the "Introduction to Broadcasting" class and, as part of the accompanying lab, had an assignment due that did not meet with passing marks by the instructor. Most of these lab hours graded assignments not as "pass verses fail" but "pass verses try again and, to ensure you do it right the second time, here's another assignment." Meaning, as I learned once when my 0:30 station promo did not meet "broadcast standards," I not only had to redo the original project and resubmit it, but also traipse all the way to the library, find the class syllabus and workbook that the instructor had hidden away in the reference section, choose a second assignment, complete it, and then submit it for a grade and hope it too met broadcast standards or I'd be back at the library giving myself more work to do. Doug Spadowski found this out the hard way...but we'll get to him later.
Whatever Jim's first assignment was had not passed and as his additional project he was to create a sign-on announcement for the station. These "secondary" assignments usually had little instruction but strict rules (such as 30 seconds, not 31, on promos...) and if he didn't know what a sign-on announcement was then he had precious little time to find out and get one produced.
I shouldn't have known about Jim's assignments except that people occasionally left items in the production rooms on accident and some of the senior staffers loved nothing more than to find these misplaced items – borrow them briefly, if you will, to dub a copy – and later use them to our advantage...usually on the air. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Jim was in the production room but his second project had a few jarring items: first, there was a distinct buzzing noise throughout the entire piece, as if there was a bad connection during recording; I couldn't imagine why he didn't hear it. Secondly, the audio levels were not up-to-par; it wasn't inaudible but the meter readings weren't off the roof, if you know what I mean. Lastly, for the music bed, he had chosen the instrumental section of the INXS song, The Stairs. There wasn't a music requirement on the assignment, I'd wager, as the then current announcement had some light music, but it was a sort of odd thing to hear the Sparkler's choice of music. Anyway, the music wasn't the problem, it was the buzzing and I wagered after he submitted this project and gotten his grade that the poor guy had to walk over to the library, find the class workbook....
Another thing that stood out was his uncertainness in delivering the copy – strange pauses in the middle of sentences where you wondered if he wasn't silently asking himself if he'd said the right thing. I'm sure he had a script but you wouldn't believe it; hence, after giving the technical bits of the station in a voice that sounded almost, but not quite, entirely not casual, he sort of flubbed a few lines about how great the station was and for listeners to stick around and hear "some of the best...of...what radio...does best." You got the impression from listening that he knew he had said the wrong thing as soon as he closed his mouth.
After a few initial rewinds to make sure someone actually babbled that line, I got a copy and used it a year or so later in a station liner compiled of various audio outtakes. I don't think Jim was around to hear his contribution but I'm sure he would have found it sparkling.
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The Stairs
(Andrew Farriss/Michael Hutchence)
INXS
From the album X
1990
In a room above a busy street
The echoes of a life
The fragments and the accidents
Separated by incidents
Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements
Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs
Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs
Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements
The nature of your tragedy
Is chained around your neck
Do you lead or are you lead
Are you sure that you don't care
There are reasons here to give your life
And follow in your way
The passion lives to keep your faith
Though all are different, all are great
Climbing as we fall
We dare to hold on to our fate
And steal away our destiny
To catch ourselves
With quiet grace
Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs
Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements
Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs
